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Snappy Comebacks You Wish You'd Used

This topic contains 55 replies, has 33 voices, and was last updated by  Pierce 1 yr.

Viewing 16 posts - 41 through 56 (of 56 total)
 
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parvipica

Private Message

Aug 24 2013 at 9:09am #

last week a guy got out of his car ahead of me on my right, saw me coming, and decided to swing open the rear driver-side door anyway to grab his suitcase. nearly hit me. my usual response is just ‘dude’ or ‘f-ck, watch it’. somehow, ‘hey GUY, watch the door!’ came out of my mouth. i’ve never called someone ‘guy’.

then i decided to park my bike and walk behind him on the sidewalk giving stink-eye to the back of his head. i had a little free time to be a creeper. hopefully he remembers the creepy lady that followed him down the street the next time he nearly doors somebody.


KBrooks

Private Message

Oct 15 2013 at 12:23pm #

(And a long time later I finally come back to say…)
Thanks for these responses! We asked the same question on Facebook, but yinz are wittier. ;)

Gonna compile some of the best and put them in the next issue of Bicycle Times (#26).

By the way, this wins my vote for “the nuclear option”:

mlinwood25 wrote:If somebody is all over me with the yelling and screaming and I can’t resist responding, here is one thing I thought of following an altercation with a car and have used since several times:

“No wonder why (he/she) left you.”

While it has nothing to do with driving, chances are it will hit a nerve.


helen s

Private Message

Oct 15 2013 at 12:26pm #

When someone uses less than family friendly language towards me I always like “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”


buffalo buffalo

Private Message

Oct 15 2013 at 3:28pm #

last night, riding outbound Penn near Children’s Hospital, someone used the left-turn lane to pass me at 44th. Of course they got caught at the light at 45th, so when I caught up and passed them, i said “Boy, _that_ sure saved you a lot of time…”

(another favourite, when someone guns it past me in traffic: “yeah, man, go get that red light!” …)


andyc

Private Message

Oct 16 2013 at 8:21am #

I usually go with – “You beat me! Good job!”


RustyRed

Private Message

Nov 7 2013 at 3:10pm #

LOL, a bunch of these are in the new Bicycle Times, including ‘Sniff my saddle!’.

:D


dmtroyer

Private Message

Nov 7 2013 at 3:27pm #

I often blow kisses.


Pierce

Private Message

Nov 7 2013 at 4:11pm #

With the passing of the foot foot law, I used to give people the finger, but now I give them four


KBrooks

Private Message

Nov 12 2013 at 1:09pm #

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were driving an undercover ambulance.”


reddan

Private Message

Nov 12 2013 at 2:37pm #

“You’re beautiful when you’re angry.”


Marko82

Private Message

Dec 17 2013 at 3:43pm #

I think we have a winner here – just don’t try this at home.

“An Adelaide driver was left stranded after an angry cyclist allegedly reached through the window and swiped their keys in a road rage spat” http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/2013/12/17/19/07/cyclist-swipes-driver-s-keys-in-road-rage-spat


Mick

Private Message

Dec 17 2013 at 4:20pm #

I think in Australia the key would be on the right side of the steering column (same as here) but the column would also be on the right side of the car. Taht would make this trick a lot easier.

It’s a shame. It’s beautiful.

Marko82 wrote:“An Adelaide driver was left stranded after an angry cyclist allegedly reached through the window and swiped their keys in a road rage spat”


KBrooks

Private Message

Dec 17 2013 at 4:38pm #

I have totally fantasized about doing that, then flinging the keys into a body of water or onto a roof.


jonawebb

Private Message

Dec 17 2013 at 5:05pm #


reddan

Private Message

Dec 17 2013 at 6:47pm #

Remember what said driver did to Yehuda in that snowstorm…


Pierce

Private Message

Dec 18 2013 at 9:57pm #

Gives the cyclist-cell-phone-grabber a run for his money

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