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Witty Comebacks

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the beast

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 1:19pm #

If you have ever ridden in the cold, rain, snow, or any other “bad” weather you have probably heard “are you rididng in this?” or similiar. I have decided that this year, when spring comes and the sun is shining and it “nice” out, Im going to walk around parking lots and say to everyone getting into their car “your going to drive in this weather?”

So that leads me to the questions: what smart-assed, witty remarks do you use?


jonawebb

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 1:37pm #

Mostly folks who ask me that are trying to be friendly, so I say something like yeah, it’s really not so bad with rain clothes, or yeah, once you get moving it doesn’t feel so cold. Something acknowledging their point of view and helping them understand my experience.


pinky

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 1:47pm #

I’m similar – I usually say, “With the right gear, you don’t feel it (cold/rain) at all.”

I try to keep comebacks to myself when it’s about driving/bikes on the road. All too often, my wit degenerates into “Go eff yourself.”

Which reminds me of my other 2013 goals – continually develop more zen attitude.


Marko82

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 2:08pm #

I’ve feigned ignorance as in, “it’s raining?” with appropriate facial expression, but most of the time it just falls flat.


Anonymous

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 2:44pm #

Personally, I’m a huge fan of the 1 Up / 4 Down salute.


helen s

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 2:50pm #

“Sure. Why not?”

“Always.”

“Absolutely!”


StuInMcCandless

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 3:57pm #

Depends how much time I have. Stuff yelled from a sidewalk, there isn’t time enough to do much more than a one- or two-syllable response. Sitting at a light or walking the bike on the sidewalk or sitting on a bus, there’s more chance for intelligent discussion. For the rest, most of the time I say nothing.


Pierce

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 4:04pm #

Indirect communication irks me

“Are you going to ride in this?”

Well obviously I am, I’m not going to a Halloween party dressed up as a cyclist in December. It’s more like

“I’m surprised you’re riding in this weather.”

Which is also annoying because, if I rode there, how do you expect me to get back? (I could take the bus, but it would take longer and not take me where I need to go)

And then like jonawebb, I explain my clothing.

Ugh. I wish more people were active so that they would know a) exercising generates heat and isn’t the same as walking to your car and that b) we have all sorts of fancy materials that do crazy things like repel moisture and wind


Mick

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 4:25pm #

On a gentle non-confrontational level: “People ski in weather colder than this.”

Snarkier:

“Are you actually going to drive a car home?”

Followed by one of the following

a) “You like war in the mid-east?”

b) “You want to support the oil companies?”

c) “You haven’t heard about global warming?”

d) “You aren’t concerned about getting fat and old?”

e) “Driving kills a lot of people in this kind of weather.”

This would go against Pierce’s vegan standards, but I have too many places to go where I don’t want to look like a bike geek, so I wear a lot of silk and wool in the winter.

When I go to a hot swing dance on a frigid night, I take along “a goodwill store” of clothes.


StuInMcCandless

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 4:34pm #

FWIW, I’m *already* getting “Wow, it’s awfully cold to be riding a bike, isn’t it?”

At FORTY-FIVE?


Vannevar

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 5:04pm #

IANAE (I am not an Evangelist) but it’s an opportunity, somebody who’s not a bicyclist just took a risk, broke the ice, and initiated a conversation with you.

You might allow years of pent-up frustration and anger to come out and achieve catharsis,

Or you might say, “Its really a lot of fun you should try it sometime” and maybe achieve a bit of cathexis,

and it’s not that I’m a holistic enlightened person it’s just that cathexis was the WYEP word-of-the-day

also you should never ignore the possibility that they’re hitting on you.

There, I’m centered again


Pseudacris

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 5:06pm #

“Yeah, I’m just too cheap to want to pay for gas or parking, ever.”

or “I get a warm glow just thinking about not sitting in traffic.”


Anonymous

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 6:06pm #

“I get a warm glow just thinking about not sitting in traffic.”

Amen to that.

And the nastier the weather, the nastier the traffic. One of my favorite experiences was in a nasty little rain, with effectively no gloves (thin and not at all water resistant, got better since).

Hands were freezing, but was riding back on the jail trail past all the stopped and crawling cars on 376 and then 2nd avenue, and suddenly the cold hands didn’t matter AT ALL. I was moving. I felt like I was practically flying.


jonawebb

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 6:18pm #

Riding home through the heavy rain last night I was thinking about how much less dangerous floods are in a bike vs. a car. No one on a bike is tempted to enter a deep flowing stream to see if they can make it across. But people in cars do, and end up getting washed away when their engine dies.

Edit: OK, Pierce. I guess that if you do that, your engine won’t conk out halfway across, at least.


Pierce

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 6:35pm #

Umm, I’m pretty tempted to enter a deep flowing stream to see if I can make it across whenever there’s a flash flood

I actually consider that a benefit of a bike because I have a pretty high engine intake


KBrooks

Private Message

Dec 18 2012 at 9:03pm #

<i>Which reminds me of my other 2013 goals – continually develop more zen attitude.</i>

You and me both, Pinky.


Anonymous

Private Message

Dec 19 2012 at 3:00am #

When people make that comment to me I just laugh out loud and say “rain doesn’t touch me”…


Aryn

Private Message

Dec 20 2012 at 5:08am #

When it is nice and people say something like, Nice day for a ride, I try to comment to the effect of, Every day is a good day to ride, or it is the only way to get around, or otherwise force these ideas when it is still perfectly pleasant weather, in hopes they start realizing that it is possible before it is necessary. I might be too subtle, though.


quizbot

Private Message

Dec 20 2012 at 6:50am #

“Go fuck yourself, fattie”. Maybe not witty, but smart assed.


Marko82

Private Message

Dec 20 2012 at 1:41pm #

ding ding ding, quizbot FTW!

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