BIKEPGH MESSAGE BOARD ARCHIVE

BRAINS

What does a vegan zombie crave?

GRAINS.

What does a plumber zombie fix?

DRAINS.

What does a triathlete zombie do?

COMPLAINS.

^this made my day.

wow, that is pretty close. i think i'll be checking it out.

not too sure if i'll be zombied out, unless a hangover counts ;P

not too sure if i'll be zombied out, unless a hangover counts ;P

HEAD PAINS.

I find it interesting that part of our culture is obsessed with a fictitious plague, when millions die from real diseases in other parts of the globe

I guess starving kids and people dying from malaria just aren't as entertaining because it's not a perceivable threat to the western world

Insert photo of Debbie Downer here.

Yeah, it's a darn shame that the ZombieFest folks are wasting all that time collecting canned goods for the Community Food Bank. What an utter lack of social consciousness.

Thanks for the "heads up". Kind of glad I won't happen upon this randomly in the normal course of my day.

In the case of actual pain, there is "ASPIR-aINs..."

"I guess starving kids and people dying from malaria just aren't as entertaining because it's not a perceivable threat to the western world."

Or, perhaps there is nothing entertaining about it... period.

Now where were we?

Corporate zombies want CAPITAL GAINNNNNS!

Underwear gnome zombies want your HANESSSS!

I... I just couldn't figure out any good puns, so I had get in touch with my tri-side and COMPLAINS!

Most of you know I can be pretty crotchety; I need to move in with old people zombies so we can also shake our CANES!

But on a related note, somebody was filming some zombie thing on East End Ave Sat or Sun that involved a bicycle and I was like "Pffft, what could you possibly do with zombies to distinguish yourself as a filmmaker?"

@Reddan

Point taken. I guess large masses of people can do silly things and look charitable as long as they bring along a can of food. The Furries should play that angle.

It really shows the state of things when we look to a group of pretend hipster zombies to feed our hungry and assemble a water balloon fight to work against poverty in Haiti.

somebody was filming some zombie thing on East End Ave Sat or Sun that involved a bicycle and I was like "Pffft, what could you possibly do with zombies to distinguish yourself as a filmmaker?"

Musical comedy could be fun. Nothing like a little soft-shoe, a well-sung verse, and a backup chorus of animate cadavers belting out the REFRAINS.

I guess large masses of people can do silly things and look charitable as long as they bring along a can of food. The Furries should play that angle.

It really shows the state of things when we look to a group of pretend hipster zombies to feed our hungry and assemble a water balloon fight to work against poverty in Haiti.

Yeah, I really hate it when a bunch of people make efforts to be charitable while having fun.

Zombies in car crash confuse onlookers:

http://boingboing.net/2010/07/11/zombies-in-car-crash.html

Bike Pittsburgh Zombie Fest Thread ENTERTAINS

Musical comedy could be fun.

Two Duquesne alumnae wrote an awesome zombie-themed opera a few years ago. It was successful enough that they had three separate runs in Pittsburgh.

But on a related note, somebody was filming some zombie thing on East End Ave Sat or Sun that involved a bicycle

I bet to zombies, a bike helmet is like the crunchy candy shell of an M&M.

Oh, and what kind of infrastructure does a zombie cyclist want? BIKE LANES. (Yes, this gag is showing some STRAINS.)

This running gag is something my commenting upon can no longer... ABSTAIN.

Honestly, if you're looking for a zombie musical look no further than...

Evil Dead: The Musical

I think the zombies will be coming to town on AMTRAK...

uh, wait...

Bummed I will be out of town for this. The Food Bank is also looking for volunteers to collect goods from the hordes, if anyone wants to spare some extra time.

http://www.pittsburghfoodbank.org/Details.aspx?RecID=58&type=Calendar

Oddly enough, zombies seem to be able to drive cars.

LANES

When beating a dead horse, it's best to use the REINS.

[Edited to add:] I love running gag threads, even when the novelty WANES.

it may be time to have reddan declared clinically INSANE.

it may be time to have reddan declared clinically INSANE in the memBRANE?

Wouldn't take much effort for me to FEIGN insanity. And a nice stay at a sanitarium, doing some peaceful arts and crafts, could be restful. Perhaps some knitting...pulling yarn from its SKEIN...

Ok, I'm done now. The pun-monster has been SLAIN.

aw, i missed the fun? but puns are my DOMAIN.

well, that ought to kill whatever novelty REMAINS.

a punfest? on this board? such a thing never WANES!

#facepalm

Ah, the fun never stops. Is it miracle, magic, or merely legerdeMAIN?

Don't hug a zombie or your spandex kit will have STAINS.

make it stop

And, when coping with a zombie plague, always follow Rule 18 (Limber Up), lest you suffer SPRAINS.

@pbeaver

What? AbSTAIN?

if it's getting to be too much just turn off the internet...

or move to BAHRAIN

Who would DEIGN to call this "too much" ?!?

Saddam Hussein

The only way to ask him involves means most ARCANE.

Indeed: to raise the dead might be considered PROFANE

^ But would it be HUMANE?

Dunno, but I bet it'll be hard to SUSTAIN.

OW!!!!!!!

Are you in pain?

In a boat they'ed be the COXSWAIN

On a roof they'ed be a weather VAIN

In the deep south they'ed be told to ABSTAIN

OW!!!!!!!

Do you need some novaCAINE?

It's ASHAME we don't have another pun-master as skilled as Reddan. You're like the Steevo of puns

This thread is OFF THE CHAIN!

@Pierce...such effusive praise will make me VAIN.

/plugs fingers into ears while squeezing eyes tightly shut.

NANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANZNANZNANANANANNANANANAN.

Is this inducing miGRAINES?

I hope the zombies take the LANES

No one will cry when this thing finally WANES.

(crap, that one already got used///slinking off now)

This is not fun anymore.

Please make it stop.

"No more rhymes now, I mean it!"

"Anybody want a peanut?"

"I think I'll eat an orange..."

@Joanne +1 Princess Bride.

perhaps this page can be more URBANE.

You think so? Please exPLAIN.

well, i thought page 2 might have been the puns' BANE, but that idea seems to have gone down the DRAIN.

Quite frankly, you couldn't elevate the level of discourse here with a CRANE.

Ay not I, O not Ow, Pounding pounding in our brain.

Ay not I, O not Ow, Don't say "Rine," say "Rain"...

Eliza The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!

Henry By George, she's got it! By George, she's got it!

Now, once again where does it rain? Eliza On the plain!

On the plain! Henry And where's that soggy plain?

Eliza In Spain! In Spain! The three

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain! Henry

In Hartford, Hereford, and Hampshire...?

Eliza Hurricanes hardly happen.

How kind of you to let me come! Henry

Now once again, where does it rain?

Eliza On the plain! On the plain! Henry

And where's that blasted plain?

Eliza In Spain! In Spain! The three

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!

The trains in Spain run slower than the planes.

@pbeaver-I recently saw a shirt I desperately want--"Keep Calm and Carry IoCANE."

It's amazing, the random bits of trivia one RETAINS.

Sadly, I suspect this will prove to be just another of the posts that @pbeaver DISDAINS.

But why, when the topic's GERMANE? Maybe pbeaver merely FEIGNS DISDANE.

(I bet they don't have zombie threads like this in Portland, though they might in SPOKANE.)

ha! false friend! spo??kæn doesn't rhyme! (though one that does is BLAINE)

This thread should be monitored by our BP friend JANE; I think she’s from MAIN, but I did see her eating chow-MEIN, so my recollection might be in VAIN.

ha! false friend! spo??kæn doesn't rhyme! (though one that does is BLAINE)

Are you saying that how it's spelled doesn't match how it's spokane? If so, I'll take the blaine.

buffalo, this board doesn't have nearly enough IPA. i kept meaning to get in here with some for marko's /?k?ks?n/ from page 1.

You linguists are all the SAME.

is it over yet?

we have yet to see if everyone's interest will WANE.

nope, i guess not, i'm going back to hiding under the bed.

Be careful not to tilt the bed too much, or the mattress may slide off the inclined PLANE.

I think this GAME has become INANE, and I'm going INSANE with a MIGRAINE.

How long can we SUSTAIN?

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Buffalo. you are correct on the proper punctuation of Spokane but perhaps he was lost and was really in Coeur d' Alene.

How long can we SUSTAIN?

It is getting rather hard to MAINTAIN.

3 days and its still going?

(That's what she said.)

Do old zombies need CAINs?

Do zombie singers sing REFRAINS?

Do bald zombies crave ROGAINE?

Do Zombie dentists forgo NovoCAINE?

Wait! Did you hear that popping sound?

I hope pbeaver didn't blow a MEMBRANE!

This thread needs some kind of points spreadsheet, if anyone is bored at work.

One sat on my couch. Left some STAINS that smells like METHANE.

NANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANNANANANANANANANANANAN

NANANANANANNANANNANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANNANANANANNANANANA

NANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANNANANNANANNANANANNANN

@pbeaver, are you feeling deRANGEd?

Some people just can't be RESTRAINED.

Of course, when the Fun Police finally show up, we'll likely all be DETAINED.

sounds like pbeaver would like to see this thread SLAIN.

C'mon, we're just PLAY'N...

These zombie rhyming puns are becoming hard to OBTAIN, of this I cannot FAIN. But it would be nice to know that at least some still REMAIN.

No pun. Just Jack LALANNE.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh oh, quizbot started it....

Shirley MacLaine!

Zombies at the gas station only purchase gas that's high OCTANE

Zombie Romney worked at BAIN

So many of these zombie references are ARCANE

Lil' WAYNE

The quality of this undead thread is DECAY'N.

Link to makeup artist Corinne Erickson's website Lots of great zombie makeup subjects.

Zombies with an Oz theme

These are great! Thanks for posting!