Tour de Quarantine Bike Race Is Just What the Doctor Ordered

Tour de Quarantine black and yellow logo shield

Local announcer turns to everyday cyclists for sports coverage, and it has us all in stitches

Sure, you might know Chris Froome, Marianne Vos, Nairo Quinatana, and Alejandro Valverde, but it’s time you acquaint yourself with White Fork, Lady on Ebike, Guy in Orange, and Trailer Guy because they’ve all won stages of the latest (and quite possibly the greatest) grand tour, the Tour de Quarantine.

While most sporting events are canceled for obvious reasons, Pittsburgher Brad Sohner, a sports commentator and producer, looks to our trails to put his skills to use – and it’s a delight to say the least. Chapeau!

Stage One

Stage one starts on the Alp de’ River (3 Rivers Heritage Trail) on a make or break 2% climb.

Stage Two

After a big climb yesterday with E Bike lady, we have a large crowd struggling for first place. Meanwhile, Very Very Cute Dog (Good Boy) still lags behind despite being very… very cute.

Stage Three

As the series progresses we have a guest analyst @Cyclocosm here to show us how the race was won. His breakdown highlights how the route obstacles (swerving small child, overattentive adult, trees, rocks, and poison ivy?) make for a tough pass for High Line Guy.

Stage Four

Stage four we have some disruptions from a fan hoping to run next to their favorite cyclist. Brad would like to “social distance this guy into the river.” Me too, Brad. Me too. 

Stage Five

Worried about bike cop? Get the latest updates. PLUS, we get an interview with Very Very Cute Dog for the first time since he reached the top three.

Follow Brad on twitter to stay up to date with the latest races. And remember folks, play by the rules. Stay six feet apart, otherwise you’ll be fined for not social distancing.

Posted by Samone Riddle

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